MOTIVATION, WHERE ART THOU?

 

Well, looky here. It's the one-month anniversary of my last blog post. *embarrassed grin*



Hmmm.  Yes, mother, I see you have been slacking off lately... do you need a time out?



Guess I've been a little busy lately. Correction: I've been a lot busy and a little lazy lately. After the month we've had, I'm pretty sure I don't have the energy to take out the garbage, let alone get moving on that massive list of summer projects we've got in store. The crummy weather (this is not summer, Mother Nature, you mean old bag!) is not helping matters either.  I need that elusive Motivation Fairy my friend Kim was looking for… WHERE YOU AT, YOU CRAZY FAIRY!?

Can't I just crash on the couch and watch that entire season of Modern Family I've got DVR'd instead?

We've had a crazy few weeks. Let me give ya a quick rundown of the past month:

1) Dishwasher clogs mid-cycle. Husband pulls dishwasher from it's hole in the wall to fix clog, hose snaps, 5 gallons of disgusting dishwater gushes through the floor and out through the basement ceiling, onto the sectional and carpet in the family room. Wife (nearly) barfs. Husband buys wife brand new replacement dishwasher, appliance installer breaks kitchen sink drain while installing, wife pays plumber to fix sink.

Wife stocks up on ramen noodles for family to eat for the remainder of the summer.

2) Wife takes daughter and 4 of her 5-year-old friends to Wahpeton Zoo for Preschool field trip. Wife loves daughter, thanks the good Lord that she only has one...

The whole preschool class.  There are only 21 of 'em, but they have the energy of 61.

3) Daughter graduates from preschool! Husband makes fun of Wife, who cries when Daughter sings "The Wheels on the Bus" at the ceremony. Wife thinks it was kismet that Daughter later accidentally dumped a half-bottle of syrup in Husband's lap during graduation celebratory brunch.

The Preschool Graduate!  Look out Kindergarten, here she comes!

My grown-up little princess

4) Wife complains of broken fence posts in backyard, dog escapes regularly. Husband hires fence dude to repair broken posts. Wife writes check.

Wind blows, rains fall. Fence breaks again. Husband cries silent tears while he & wife & brother-in-law bail water out of sump pit during 6-hour power outage.

Fence-tastrophie.

Husband calls fence guy back, fence guy repairs the remainder of the fence he already fixed once, wife writes another check.

Wife considers selling eldest child on black market to pay for home repairs.


5) Wife decides 'tis high time to work harder at potty-training Son. Son pees on floor instantly, laughs maniacally. Wife sends Husband out to buy more diapers.

His Highness, King PeePee Pants, atop his throne.


6) Family takes 8-hour trip across the state. Children are well behaved, for the first time ever, thanks to new minivan, family-sized boxes of fruit snacks, and dual DVD players sent from Heaven. Wife decides against black market sale of children. Trip is awesome, family spends quality time with relatives, fun is had by all.  Family decides a return trip in August is in order.

Double-sleepers!  This has in all seriousness NEVER happened before!!

7) Wife decides more logical way to raise some home-improvement funds is to sell some of the massive amounts of unused junk which was slowly and steadily taking over family's home. Wife tags, folds, sorts & displays truckloads of stuff for garage sale.

Holy crap.  And to think I just had one of these a year ago.  Why do we have this much stuff!!?

Grandma comes up to help out, contributes home-baked treats to Granddaughter's business venture. Granddaughter sells $52 worth of cookies, Rice Krispy bars and lemonade. Wife sells $650 worth of random crap. Wife rethinks marketing strategy for next sale: adorable, precocious 5-year-olds move merchandise (and if they flash their blue eyes and dimples, might receive a $5 for a $0.50 item with no expectation for change returned.)



The wee entrepreneur, calculating her capital gains taxes...
or writing "*heart* Justin Bieber" on her notebook, one of the two.


8) Husband & Wife celebrate 8th Wedding Anniversary at Cork & Cleaver ("Booze & Beef") while Grandma babysits. We had a lovely kid-free evening and enjoyed some delicious food. We realized we don't get out much when we both yawned at 8:00 and asked each other "ehh, should we just go back home?" We did just that, and made it through 1/2 episode of Pawn Stars before we both fell asleep on our respective recliners. It was a blissful celebration.


So here I sit, looking ahead at our family calendar for the next few weeks, and realize I best get my hiney in gear, or this house is gonna fall clean apart before the school year starts. (School year!? OMG!! That is not happening…) The summer is 1/3 over and I have yet to do any house cleaning, let alone yard work, bike riding, or swimming... and that is just not cool. So my Motivation Fairy? A 6'3" 280-lb Nordic-looking blond dude (that one I've been married to for 8 years). He has a lovable way of simultaneously kicking my ass while patting me on the back. That coachs' training is sure coming in handy.  I have high hopes for getting some weeds pulled this weekend, and some busted-up pavers removed, but mother nature and the little gnomes that clutter up my kitchen might just have other plans.

Onward & upward! I'm off to nurse this lovely summer sinus infection I've contracted (probably as some sort of punishment for my lazy behavior).  Yippee.  Happy Summer!!  If it ever gets here, that is.

Bedtime with Bam Bam

 

Once upon a time there was a little boy who loved to sleep.  He would voluntarily take 3-4 hour naps during the weekend, and slept 10 hours a night from the age of 3 months.  The little boy slept much like a hamster does, all tucked up into the corner of his crib, and he hated to be taken out of it.  In fact, had he been given the option, we all believe he'd have preferred to spend the majority of his days curled into a little baby pile in his snug, cozy bed, napping the day away. 

Well that sleepy little boy has now graduated to a 'big boy bed'. He misses the crib because it was his favorite snuggly snoozing spot.  Mommy misses the crib because it was a humane and socially acceptable method of caging him.  You see, our little Nighttime Ninja has recently figured out how to open his bedroom door, and can't stand being away from the action when everyone else in the house is still awake.  So he stealthily slips out of bed so he can sneak away to sleep in random places all over the house and give his mother a nightly panic attack when she finds him MIA from said bed.
 

His second favorite place to nap, the rocker-recliner in his room.
Lately, he's been sneaking out of bed so he can sleep on the chair.

Still, it's one of my top 5 favorite things on Earth putting this kid to bed every night.  We read a variety of his favorite books, all of which he has completely memorized, and he makes sure I don't skip one single page.  No matter how hard I try to sneak a new book into the mix to preserve my sanity, we work with the same library every single night:  "Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You?", "Goodnight Moon", "Don't Touch My Hat!", "Leonardo the Terrible Monster" and "The Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog" are this month's favorites.

We finish our story and then it's rockabye time... he burrows down in the crook of my arm like he's done since he was 2 minutes old, pops Stinky (his grody old raggy yellow blanket) into his mouth, and settles in for some quality rockin' time.  For the past couple months, our conversation at this point goes exactly like this:

He points up at me, grinning, commanding, "Sing, Mama!"

"Ok, buddy, what should I sing?"

"Ummmmmmm..." [C'mon dude, I already know what you're gonna say, you don't have to pretend like you're thinking so hard about your song selection.] "Woody Roundoff!"

He means "Woody's Roundup" from Toy Story 2.  There's some yodeling involved, and horse whinnying, and of course a big, drawn-out finish.  He giggles every. Single. Time.  From there, he gives the orders in terms of the playlist, but it almost always goes like this: "Tinkle Tinkle Tar", "Ho Ho Ho" ('Up on The Housetop', yeah, I'm aware it's May: he's not), "Brudder John", "Rocka Baby" and "Bunny Foo Foo".  We may throw in "Over In the Meadow" or "Itsy Bitsy Spider" once in awhile for variety. But if he's not satisfied with my performance, he will stop me in the middle of it by clapping his hand over my mouth and saying, "no sing dat Mama".

Then I get the best reward ever for reading the same books and singing the same songs to him every night:  "I lub you Mama".  Followed by a hug and a kiss before his big green eyes become heavy with sleep, and I tuck he & Stinky under the blankets.  Recently we've added about 1200 other friends to this part of the routine, like the entire cast of Toy Story, half his farm set, 3 emergency rescue vehicles, a book or two, and a backup blanket, in case Stinky gets lost or... less smelly... or whatever.  One more kiss and a "ni-night, see-a later!" and he's down for the count.

I turn out the light, and shut the door... and relish the moment.  Because I know it's fleeting.  I know these sweet nights are numbered.  It won't be long before my little man won't want to rockabye anymore.  Soon he won't think it's hilarious when I sing the 'Good Fairy' part in a high-pitched fairy godmother tone.  Soon he will want to read all those books all by himself.  Soon he won't want me to tuck him in, and Stinky and the Toy Platoon will be distant memories.  Soon I'll worry about him wandering about the town instead of wandering about the house.  But until those days come, I'm going to cherish every giggle, every song lyric, every word of those books I've read 14,326 times, every goodnight kiss.  Cuz I "lub you" too, buddy.

And I know you'll live happily ever after.

Fantastic Five

 

I've tried.  Lord knows, I've tried.  For 2+ days I've sat down and tried to write down how I feel about my baby girl turning five.  And every time I tried, I cried.  Bawled.  Like a big fat wussypants.  I just don't think there are enough words, and I'll never get the right combination, to explain just how I feel about my daughter.  But I'm working on it:  Jordan and I decided a few months ago that we would like to start a new birthday tradition for the kids.  We will hand-write letters to our children on their birthdays every year... they may throw them out or they may keep them forever but that way they'll always have at the very least a yearly personal reminder of how much their Mom & Dad love them!

So since I'm feeling a bit emotion-aaaaaaallll over my baby turning five, I thought I'd tell you a little bit about our super-fun girls' day out today instead!  Within the last year or so, Asha & I have started having "girl's day" outings, so we decided to do a really huge one for her big #5.  I took the day off work, she took the day "off" daycare... and away we went!  We started our morning bright and early -- somebody was a little excited at 6 am and woke up the whole household -- with a birthday bagel (hey, gimme a break, the cake masterpiece is coming this weekend!)  The kids spent the next 30 minutes trying to set off the smoke alarms by making me light & relight the candles so they could take turns spitting on them  blowing them out.  She's so sweet to share with her little bro!

Happy Fifth Birthday, Sweet Girl!

At 9:00, we headed to the salon for our mani-pedis.  We shot the breeze as the ladies did up our fingernails (red with green & yellow hearts for Ash, pink for Mom) and relaxed a bit while they did our toenails (Moms' matched, Asha went for purple). 

Soaking in the spa jets

Showing off her fancy nails

After our nails dried, we headed to our next stop -- a massage!  Asha had been begging for a massage for ages, so I did some searching and found somone who turned out to be the absolute coolest massage therapist!  She adored Asha, and pampered her a bit -- taped to the floor right under the face hole on the massage table, was a bright yellow balloon with "Happy 5th Birthday Asha" written on it.  Ash loved every minute of her massage, and even fell asleep as the therapist was massaging her neck.  Snored like a buzzsaw, so we knew she was perfectly relaxed!

After all that pampering, we were starving!  Of all the restaurants in all of the F-M area, Asha chose... you guessed it, Chuck E Cheese.  Yay.  Okay, it actually wasn't a total zoo at noon on a Monday afternoon, so it wasn't nearly as horrible as I'd anticipated.  In fact, we had ourselves a darn fun time!

Mom & Asha at Birthday Lunch

Gangstas, sippin' on gin & juice... wait, no, that was Orange Crush.

Mom gets a smooch from the Birthday girl!

Then came the big moment.  A trip to the mall.  To do something she'd been begging to do for 2 years....

Anxiously awaiting the big deal!

EAR PIERCING!  (aaaaaack!  Mom shreiks in horror! Not my baby's innocent earlobes!!)  Ok, no it wasn't that bad at all.  In fact, my little Viking Princess didn't flinch, didn't even so much as blink an eye when they did the piercing.  What a rock star!

Sitting perfectly still as they measured her ears

She chose these adorable little pink sparkly studs, and told me she's "never, ever taking them out.  Not when I go to Kindergarten, not when I go to High School, not when I go to college, not when I get married..."  Yeah, you get the picture. She liked them. I got the actual piercing on video, y'know, for a keepsake or whatever.  It makes me queasy to watch it, but Ash has watched it 73 times since we returned home this afternoon.

All smiles, no tears!  She showed them off to every random stranger we walked past in the mall!

We followed up our big piercing event with a smoothie (her fave), and headed back home.  I popped in her new  "Tangled" movie, and made it about 4 minutes in before I crashed.  Asha made it probably 7 minutes in before she passed out too (just guessing) and we napped almost until the boys got home! 

That just does not look comfy

And that was pretty much our big day.  It may not sound like much to the casual observer, but it was probably the most special day we've ever shared, not counting our very first day spent together five years ago.  We ended the night with a bedtime story about what went on the day she was born (she loves that tale!) and a little snuggling before she drifted off to sleep, one year older, one year wiser, one year more wonderful.

Taken on our very first "girl's day" - May 2, 2006

My beautiful little girl, whose name means "Life" and "Hope" - you have certainly given me new life, full of hope and joy beyond my wildest imagination.  I love everything about you.  I love your big blue eyes, your sunny smile that reveals those charming dimples, your sharp wit and spot-on comic timing, your perceptive views, your effervescent giggle, your brave character, your cheerful demeanor, your endless hugs, your boundless energy, your compassionate spirit, your sensitive heart, and your beautiful grown-up soul in a child's body.  Thank you for letting me share this day with you, and thank you for being my delightful daughter. 

I hope you had a Fantastic Five, baby girl.  Mommy loves you, today and forever!

Not-so-terrible two

Boy, Oh Boy, Guess Who's TWO!? 

I look back on my kids' birthdays with a lot of nostalgia and emotion.  After all, I am a huge sap.  But, they were hugely important days in my life too!  So on this, my son's second birthday, I wanted to tell you a little bit about the little person known as my baby Bam Bam.  These years are passing too darn quickly, and I don't want to forget what it was like when my babies turned 2... or 5… or 10…  So to commemorate each milestone, I'll write about it, take lots of pictures, and hope that my memory doesn't fail me.  Because these are truly precious times.

It was a warm spring day two years ago when Noah Grey decided to join the world, just a few weeks ahead of schedule.  He has maintained that 'head start' approach since then, by doing everything as early as possible.  Noah's not always the most patient kid, but when he accomplishes something he celebrates like nobody's business!  The dude's got a fiery temper with a short fuse, but he is quick to forgive and is pretty easily distracted which balances pretty nicely.    He loves sleeping.  He loves eating.  He's a content little kid, but if he's ever unhappy he's pretty easy to please, because it's almost always one of those two things that will satisfy him: food or sleep.  His sense of humor is really starting to develop now. He's quite the little tease, and loves to watch our reactions when he's being silly.

Family Vacation, A Little Like the Griswold's, Only Not As Funny...

 

It got a little floody around here this past weekend.  After almost 6 months of constant snow cover and subzero temps, we welcomed spring with open arms... and hip waders.  And sand bags, and dump trucks, and helicopters, and police escorted flatbeds filled with... more sand bags.  The weather was quite nice, but unfortunately it was far too soggy to be playing outside.  It's tough for a kid to enjoy the outdoors when most of the playgrounds in your neighborhood look like this:

So we decided that we'd had enough fun with the ol' Red River for a bit, and skipped town, heading east bound to the Twin Cities.

The Red River bridge on I-94, day before the crest

Thank goodness for portable DVD players!

The decision to head out of town was the single most spontaneous thing our family has ever done. While eating lunch, I commented to Daddy that the kids had been exceptionally good that morning. He got that "thinkin' look" on his face, then brought up the suggestion that we take them to Nickelodeon Land at the Mall of America (we had talked about doing so for quite awhile) as a "thanks-for-being-good and happy-early-birthday" treat. We took Asha there last summer for a mini-vacation. We had the best time and thought Noah was old enough now to enjoy it as well. So we hastily threw in a change of clothes, filled the car with that precious $4/gallon gas (yowch), and eased on down the road.

 

Though passing out is almost as good a time killer on road trips

I very much appreciated our access to modern technology on this trip more than ever.  As we drove out of town, I booked a hotel through Expedia on my handy dandy new Windows Phone.  I got a sweet "last-minute" deal at a nice hotel just a couple miles from the Mall of America (who says frugality isn't fun?!)  The kids were silent the whole way, occupied by their portable DVD players.  When we got closer to the city, we punched the hotels' address into the phones' GPS system and were led right up to the front door!  After we checked in, we found the closest Denny's, grabbed some grub, stopped at WalMart (yup, we forgot Asha's socks in our rush to leave town), and found the quickest route to the MOA, all from our phone.  Nifty!

The dim spot in our weekend was the night in the hotel.  It was a great place, don't get me wrong.  The kids loved the pool, and the rooms were nice & roomy.  Just not roomy enough for a toddler who loves (and I mean LOVES) sleeping in his own bed. Or for a big girl who insists upon sleeping with her bony knees shoved into your spine.  We booked a King room, knowing that Ash would end up in bed with us anyway, and that Noah would probably follow suit.  We were all exhausted by 7:30, so we took advantage and tried to get them down for the night then. "Not a chance, suckas!", they seemed to say.  Noah babbled, giggled, crawled all over us, begged for "TV on!" and was just being a royal pain in the pooper.  Asha whined about his wiggling; so he sat on her head and soon both began to wail.  Daddy To The Rescue jumped up and dialed the front desk, "Yeah, can we get a crib up here?"

45 agonizing minutes later, the hotel staff finally showed up with that magical crib, with its four wonderful walls that held Monster Man captive until at last he drifted off to sleep.  Sister was out moments later... too bad Mom & Dad didn't get a wink of sleep that night.  The tricky thermostat kept the room temp ranging from rain forest to arctic tundra in a matter of minutes.  Kneecaps McGee and Baby Mouth Breather ensured that we didn't get too much rest.  6:30am rolled around, and Ash was up with the birds as usual.  She & Dad went down to check out the continental breakfast.  Bless Daddy's heart, he kept her down there and allowed Mama & Noah to sleep until 8:00.  2 hours later, we headed over to the Mall, to begin our day of fun!

The plan was for Mom & Asha to hit the theme park right away, while Dad & Noah would visit the aquarium.  The boys had a blast, Noah loved all the "fsssshh" and sharks. We girls didn't waste any time getting started on the rides...

I love this! The kids on both sides of her were flipping out (this did NOT appear to be a scary ride) and Asha just kept grinning and looking at them like, "what is the problem, nerds?"

She started on the mini-coaster, then immediately graduated to the BIG one!

Wheeeeee! Crazy wild- haired Mama and her calm, collected daughter on the roller coaster!

Captivated by the train, he kept yelling "All Aboard!"

The boys wrapped up their tour of the aquarium and joined us for the remainder of the day.  Dad & Asha decided they wanted to go on some scary rides, so I took Bam Bam and headed to the rides geared toward the Dora/Diego crowd.  The little man was hilarious on his first ride, I wish I could've read his mind.  He never once cracked a smile, but didn't seem the least bit afraid. He was simply fascinated by the whole concept!

Excuse me, you're gonna do WHAT with this thing!?

Noah was brave enough to go on a couple of the kiddie rides on his own, but I was never quite sure if he was going to cry, puke, or burst out into giggles.  My normally chatty little dude was mostly silent, just taking in all the sights and sounds.  He'd get off one ride, then run along to the next one and hop right in line, so I was pretty sure he wanted to go on them... at least I hope so, or else I'm losing my Mom of the Year trophy if the kid was miserable.  He recognized all the familiar cartoon characters, and thoroughly loved running full-speed ahead and watching Mama try to keep up with him!
 

Favorite picture. Ever. The poor child looks milliseconds away from barfing, but there were no tears and otherwise no outward panic whatsoever. In fact, he was pretty rad, especially for a not-quite-2-year-old!

If it's all the same to you, I think I'd rather play Legos

 

Little trucker

LOVED the semi truck ride, we hit that one up at least 5 times

 

Daddy & Asha swingin'

I was bummed that I missed out on snapping pics of our other two brave adventurers, but I heard they had a wild time. It's a lucky thing Asha is very tall for her age, she was juuuuust tall enough to ride the "kindof-scary" rides. We quickly learned that our daughter has NO FEAR whatsoever. She convinced me to go on the "Fairly OddParents" rollercoaster. I very nearly lost my cookies, as did the 40-something guy and his pre-teen son who shared the ride car with us, but this little girl had an ear-to-ear grin the entire time!  She was a rockstar! We've never been so proud.

Chillin' with a little snack while the other two went on the scary rides

 

Running to the next ride

Freefalling and loving it!  Much giggling followed.

My favorite part of our day at the theme park was when big sister decided she would take a break from the big kids rides, and wanted to go on some (considerbly more babyish ones) with her little brother. That stoic little guy was suddenly all smiles when Big Sis was by his side. They decided their favorite was the Wonder Pets Flyboat -- a kid-friendly version of one of those "freefall" rides where you slowly go up, then get dropped down at high speed, reaching zero-G with your cheeks flapping in the wind! 

A highlight of the trip - worth every penny that they had this much fun together.

All in all, we had a really fantastic weekend. The trip home was of course long, everyone got a little tired and cranky, we got home way later than we wanted to, and came back to a mountain of laundry stared smack in the face of a Monday...
But it was worth every single hassle for all the fun we had and great memories we (hopefully) created for the kiddos. And despite the lack of sleep, expensive gas, and hassle of traveling with two nap-less kids, I loved every minute of our spontaneous little family vacation!

April Foolishness

We're getting a little antsy after being cooped up inside for the past 5 months!  So last night, in celebration of one of my favorite holidays (yeah, I know it's not a holiday, it's a just-plain-fun day!), we made some April Fool's treats to take to daycare.  My little sous chef helped me find the 'recipe' we were going to make:  Hamburger Cookies!  So we headed to the grocery store to pick up our ingredients:

• 2 boxes Nilla wafers
• 2 packages Keebler Grasshopper cookies
• 2 tubes red frosting
• 1 tube yellow frosting
• 1 pkg. flaked coconut
• Green food coloring
• Gold cupcake sprinkles

I suppose we probably wouldn't have needed 2 boxes of wafers, but we're very particular about our buns.  (Har har har.)  I realized about 10 minutes into our project that this was going to be a crapload of cookies, but we had to make enough for both classrooms (about 24 w/teachers in each room).  This was a GREAT project for my little helper: there were plenty of steps she could do all by herself, and counting out the number we needed was good for sharpening her math skills too!

We started by placing 48 Nilla wafers flat side up for the bottom "bun".  Then, we piped a circle of yellow frosting around the bottom edge of a Grasshopper cookie (we quickly found that the frosting stuck much better to the smooth dipped cookie than it did the crumbly Nilla wafer)

and then smooshed the two cookies together so that the "cheese" (or maybe it's mustard, I dunno) oozed out the sides slightly:

While Mommy was busy piping frosting circles, Chef Asha dumped the bag of coconut in a covered bowl and put about 4 drops of green food coloring in, put the lid on, then tossed.  After the bottom half of the sandwich was assembled, we added the "lettuce", like so:

We were having so much fun up to that point.  Then came the "sesame seeds".  Not so much fun.  I put some Karo syrup in a little bowl and added about a tablespoon of water, then put it in the microwave for a few seconds to soften it up. We used a little paintbrush to brush some syrup/water mixture onto the "bun lid", then dipped the lid into a pile of the sprinkles we had dumped onto a plate.  This was a lot more painstaking and sticky than the rest of the operation had been, but still not entirely that bad.

Once our lid was properly sesame seed'ed, we added a larger dollop of frosting, this time, red for "ketchup".  Of course we had to apply it to the 'lid' to act as the glue that holds the cookie together.  When we smooshed, it nicely adhered the top bun to the lettuce & patty, and actually looked a lot like ketchup!

And VOILA!!!  We haz cheeseburgers.

So then we made 47 more of them.  They actually held together really well!

Aren't they cute?  And my little Chef had to taste-test one just for good measure you know.  Mommy tried one too, and you know what?  They were actually pretty darn tasty, for store-bought cookies!



We really did have a blast making these together.  Probably not something I'd do every week for a project, but definitely a fun way to play a harmless little joke on their buddies.  Asha kept going, "it looks like a tiny cheeseburger, but it's a COOKIE!  GET IT!?" *hysterical laughter*  Both kids were so excited to take them to share with their friends today (a rare phenomenon when they both actually want to share!)  Noah kept saying "hangurger!", so I'm not quite sure what he'll think when he bits into one!  And I can't wait to hear what all the kiddos at daycare thought of our little April fool! 

Happy April Fool's Day!